StevieCoppellisaGod
|
Anecdotes (short, funny stories)Post any short funny stories here. I'll make this into a sticky if it becomes really popular, and a new section if it becomes even more popular.
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
Okay...
The singing bag
Last Thursday, I came back from lunch. I'd left my bag in my art classroom, the lesson I'd had before it. I went back into the art room, and to my suprise everyone was standing around my table. I asked them why, and they said they were listening to the bag sing. I didn't know my bag was that smart!
It was actually the girl who sits next to me's bag, and it wasn't exactly singing- her phone was ringing. Some one had told our art teacher, and seeing as mobile phones are banned...
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
A sneaky 5 year old
One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived."
An Irish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Patrick." The teacher said, "Sorry Alan, that's not correct."
Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, "It was St. Andrew." The teacher replied, "I'm sorry, Hamish, that's not right either.
Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, "It was Jesus Christ." The teacher said, "That's absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I'll give you the $20."
As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, "You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ." Jayant replied, "Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!"
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
Lol!
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
another one stevie as mean as you loved the last 1 so much 
a women goes to an interview at a police station . the interviewer sees that she's a blond and asks her whats
"1 + 1 "
she replies "2"
he says "2 + 2 "
she answers 4
the inviewer says come back tomorrow and tell me who murdered abraham lincoln
she says "ok"
she gets home and her mate rings her
" asking how did the interview go ?"
she replies " GREAT ! not only did i get the job , im already working on a murder case .
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
Lol! Do you have any truthful ones though?
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
not tht have happened to me no , have you noticed its only me nd u posting in this topic ?
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
oh yh stevie there is one but it happened to my dads mate
some girl is short on money so she went to his house with some paint and says "do you need anything painting"he says "yes the porch ill come out in a hour and see how your going on " the girls blonde by the way . she comes back after 20 minutes and knocks on the house and says " ive finished ive even done 2 coats "
the man was surprised he goes out and sees his porch his not painted . the girl says " by the way thats not a porsche thats a ferrari "
|
u1bd2005
|
| Sir Van Nistelrooy wrote: | oh yh stevie there is one but it happened to my dads mate
some girl is short on money so she went to his house with some paint and says "do you need anything painting"he says "yes the porch ill come out in a hour and see how your going on " the girls blonde by the way . she comes back after 20 minutes and knocks on the house and says " ive finished ive even done 2 coats "
the man was surprised he goes out and sees his porch his not painted . the girl says " by the way thats not a porsche thats a ferrari " |
you sure that happened to ur dads mate, ive heard that b4 and read it in joke books b4 too, very funny though, 
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
| u1bd2005 wrote: | | Sir Van Nistelrooy wrote: | oh yh stevie there is one but it happened to my dads mate
some girl is short on money so she went to his house with some paint and says "do you need anything painting"he says "yes the porch ill come out in a hour and see how your going on " the girls blonde by the way . she comes back after 20 minutes and knocks on the house and says " ive finished ive even done 2 coats "
the man was surprised he goes out and sees his porch his not painted . the girl says " by the way thats not a porsche thats a ferrari " |
you sure that happened to your dads mate, ive heard that before and read it in joke books before too, very funny though, |
Yep, I've heard it before too
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
when my dad told me i fought he was having me on as mean as i have heard it before but seriously it did happen
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
my dog declared war on some swans yesterday. Then she well in the lake.
|
oldman
|
SVN they are so funny
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
lol stevie
i was there was some little kids on a field / park whatever you call it and they was playing catch cause me nd my mates was going up to snooker hall and they threw the ball and 1 kid was so interested in the ball he jst dived for it and landed in a canal lol
|
oldman
|
in yr 2 thos girl just radomly jumped into the pond when we were looking for tadpols and sutff
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
That happened in my school in reception.
When I was at my last year in my old school, we got a crazy new Chinese deputy head. She was bonkers, and made up loads of weird rules, like "Take your PE kit home", "Don't talk at break if your in this play ground but yo can if you're in this one", "No eating unhealthy food at break but you can at lunch" and "No smoking".
Seriously, she put signs up all over the school that said "No smoking". I mean, what's the point? Does she think that all English 5 year olds smoke or something?
Then she said that we could only play with Hula Hoops if we span them anti clockwise, that bulldog was banned (although we still played it, just not running at the same time as each other) and that we had to listen to Mozart while we ate our food.
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
our headteacher said that play fighting is not allowed as it will turn into a real fight but then he said id rather you playfight than a real fight . and then he said im ok if you fight for a reason but if its a bad reason i want you to playfight i was like wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot lol
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
What?
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
Exactly . thats exactly what i thought lol
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
In year 5 my teacher was teaching us about factors. The next day we'd all forgotten what we'd done in maths, and she said "it's the f word" to help us remember. The f word  .
|
Sir Van Nistelrooy
|
let me guess some birght spark shouted out the bad f word > tut tut > and then gone wasted for it ?
|
StevieCoppellisaGod
|
No, but we all put our hands up...
Yesterday it was raining really hard. In PE, we were told that the field had turned to mud, the astro turf was flooded and the tennis courts were too dangerous. The sports hall was being used by the A-Level Students. All that left us with was the gym and the main hall. We took off our shoes to play handball bare foot in the gym, and the girls went in the hall. However, the A-Level people only needed a small bit of the sports hall, so we got to play basketball in the sports hall...
HOWEVER, before we were sorted into teams, a load of the girls came through. We were going to be playing against them. They were wearing shoes. luckily, the A-Level students needed too much of the hall for 100 or so people to play basketball. The girls went back to the other hall, and half of us played handball, half played basketball. My feet appriciate it.
|
|
|
